Hello everyone. Thank you for staying tuned in. I have been on a hiatus of sorts for the last few months so apologies for the site not being current. I hope to remedy that as of now.
This last year, let alone the last two years, has been hard for me personally. I’m well aware it’s been hard for so many of us. Some of us have encountered great loss and most of us, huge life transitions. I’m grateful you stuck around and if you’re new here, welcome, I hope you find something interesting and will come back from time to time.
An unintended hiatus
The hiatus was not intended, really. It all came to a grinding halt back in February 2022, when the war started in Ukraine. We are lucky in America to be living in a democratic society and despite all of the racial injustice, bullish behavior, political divide and down right ignorance in many aspects in our country, I was not as mentally prepared as I thought I would be to face a very real possibility of World War III, especially when it starts through a brutal dictatorship like that in Russia over a smaller country that doesn’t have the capability to fight back.
The ease with which someone could start war appalled me and has always appalled me in the past. The fact that the US had seen it coming and tried to warn Europe horrified me. How could multiple countries just sit here, wait, watch and not lift a hand to stop it? I am still outraged by what is currently happening and even though we fear a war and putting our own troops on the ground, if Russia insists on pursuing other pieces of “land” in its pursuit of deliverance from Nazism, which is propaganda, Europe itself is at risk. I am deeply saddened but feel I must speak my piece.
I know. It is the way of the world. Yet it shook my inner core like never before. I believe the start of World War III has happened. Even if we do not acknowledge it as such at the moment.
A dream of war
Many moons ago I had a dream about war. Not like me at all. I NEVER dream about war. In the dream there was a loud noise, like cannons, from the north, I could see the explosions, fiery sky, smell smoke, and hear the oncoming chaos from over the hill to the north of us, north of our house, the sky lit up, tanks rolled over the hill, along with soldiers and we ran.
It was one of the most powerful dreams I’ve ever had in my life. I believe it was an omen of future events.
A life paused
Needless to say, that sent me into a deep dark place within myself.
I am emerging slowly yet cautiously.
It caused me to abruptly pause my new business. It caused me to go inward and look at what is important to me. Family, friends, living life in the here and now, enjoying it as much as you can because before you know it, well, it can be gone, altered, devastated and no longer the life you knew. That’s what is important. Spending the time you do have doing the things you do love. You never get that time back. Spend it wisely.
I am still reeling from the deep sorrow from losing my best friend, my mother, and all I could hear her telling me is “I love you so much.” I cried nightly, daily, not only for the people in Ukraine, but for all of us, here on this planet, where war seems to be such an easy tool for some, yet such a costly tool for those that give their lives by just being in the path of whatever monstrosity vows to overtake us.
Before it ends
One of the things I realized that I want to do before my life is over and have never really done is to see the world and travel. I spent countless days in our local library when I was little with a stack of books in a corner quietly while reading of travels, living in other countries, spending time with people who were strangers but by the time you leave them they have become your friends and, in some cases, feel more like family. Even if I am only able to explore my own backyard here in America, Canada and possibly Mexico, I would love that. Yes, I have been to Ireland, which is my only trip abroad, plus I have been to some popular places here in the US but not as long or in a natural way that I would like. I never had the time during those trips to explore mother nature and enjoy their natural beauty.
A life renewed
My mother never had the courage and bravery to step outside her house and travel places, or do things, or meet people, or eat different foods, or sleep under the stars out in the wide open without her husband. I never want to be that afraid, that dependent, or that set in my ways. I wish I could take her with me as I move forward on this journey. I know I will spiritually. I also know she would love what I have chosen to do with the rest of my life.
An emotional support animal
I now have a new plan and it includes my emotional support animal that I adopted during this time, Bruno. (Think of the movie “Encanto”) His full name is Bruno Erzengel (erts-e-ngel). Bruno is Old High German. Derived from the Germanic element brun “armour, protection” or brun “brown”. Erzengel is German and means archangel. He’s my protector and guardian.
He’s a Manchester terrier and Boxer mix. One of the most handsome dogs I have ever seen. When I saw him online at a local non-profit no kill shelter, well, he spoke to me, and I knew he was the soul to go on this journey with me. He’s a beautiful brindle color with markings on his face, neck, paws and tail that make him one of a kind (like so many of our precious furr babies).
A life set in motion again
I will be on the road traveling as soon as I’m able. I’ve always wanted to travel, explore, hike and see the beautiful country we live in. I hope to make that possible soon with money from an inheritance and the goodwill of life force running through this grand Universe. I will continue to make my art and express my grief through various mediums.
I hope you will share your experiences and thoughts with me either in the comments below or send me an email.
All the best,